The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
