Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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