Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
