omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
