I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
