I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
is it fun? or sober?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
