Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
