Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
