it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
