VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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