JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
