She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
