naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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