How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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