these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
