Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
