he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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