what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
