when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
