Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
