Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
