No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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