Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
