so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
