She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
