Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize