I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
