wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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