just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
