You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
