guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
