If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
