Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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