i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
