whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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