Sry I called you an 8
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
