He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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