Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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