I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
