i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
