My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
