There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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