I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
