Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Are we still banned from the library?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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