Sponge bath it is.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
