Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
