weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
