How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
