I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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