i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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